Suicide

A permanent solution to a temporary problem


easily said

by my mother

impossible to accept

by myself, regardless of how many times

I have heard her say it

since I was a teenager



I try to tell my mother

once inside that Temporary Problem

it is Not

it is Forever

until the only viable solution

is permanent



she talks around and over it until

finally

she buries it as she has all the other

Temporary Problems in her life



that isn't fair, she is a strong woman, more than I

I would not have lasted through some of the horrors

her five children put her through

and I am one of those five children



but what of my two children?

what can I tell them?

what words are there to help them make sense of this

this most tragic occurrence?



Katie was one of the group that the young man chose

he called Katie and they went out, talked and laughed together

just a few days before he took his own life

now she is grieving not only that act but blames herself

for not being able to see something...anything that could be of use

to stop him



not much use

now

to say what all the books say

that when you decide on the act no one ever knows

but yourself



David Wyatt is the one I worried about

but

he spoke to his father about how he felt

and even acknowledged that the group itself, so important during his teenage years,

is not important any longer,

although

he didn't know it until this week



he said he was OK

until

the family

brought Wesley's three-year-old daughter into the room



why? why would anyone do that to a three-year-old?

am I the only one to

KNOW

suicide puts everyone at risk?



little Evelyn looked at Wesley and said



"he died. I want my Daddy"



David Wyatt said "that got to me Dad"



Wesley Keith Kilcrease, USMC, took his own life by self inflicted gunshot wound to the head

0600 hours Monday, January 26, 2009

outside his home in Stapleton, Alabama, in the presence of his lifelong friend



Brandon Langham,

no longer a friend to Wesley

he is lover

to Wesley's wife